How to Build a Cat
You'll need a lot of rubber bands, a hairbrush and some nails.
It also helps to have assorted screaming-banshee wails.
First, tie some rubber bands together in an oblong knot.
Don't use them all or you may find you need more than you've got.
With the rest, make four leg-pieces and a head-shaped ball.
Be sure the legs are short and stout or else your cat will fall.
One other thing I almost missed, and you can prob'ly guess,
You'll need a really super tail -- a riding crop works best.
Next, brush your hair for weeks and weeks until you have enough.
You'll need about a pound or two. This brushing part gets rough.
Now loosely tie the leg and head parts to the basic cat,
Then work the hairballs in the thing, just here and there -- like that.
Once you've got it standing up you'll want to add the tail,
And where the legs just touch the ground, you'll add the claws: those nails.
Little marbles make good eyes, and band-aids look like feet.
The best thing with this kind of cat is that it won't get fleas.
You'll never have to let it out, you'll never hear it whimper.
It can't scratch up your furniture. It won't need sand or litter.
The last thing you may want to add, though some may stop right now,
Should be the banshee screams -- It's not a cat if it can't howl.
Instead of banshees you might get a motor of some kind.
Once it's purring, stick it on -- in front or in behind.
Now set it in the window where your neighbors all can see.
They'll ask, "What is that?" You can say, "A cat that eats for free."